Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Bad Day!

I have a headache. I don't usually get headaches. Some might say I give them... I just want to throw up my hands and give up. Okay. I give up. That's it. No more. Yep! It's been one of those days. Why one might wonder? Is it more than the weather's hot and the dogs have chewed up anything in the house that's not tied down? Truthfully, I'm not sure.

Everyone has had one of those days. You know...a day that nothing seems to go right. Got off work this morning and it began. Went to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription and the doctor ordered it the wrong way according to my insurance company. Wanted me to pay double my normal co-pay. Spent almost an hour on the phone with them and still didn't win. Have to get my doctor to write it the way they want it (a 90-day supply). Okay. I can do that. Left a message for my doctor. Did I hear anything? No. Went ahead and paid the extra and will have to do battle about the money later.

So I got home late. Colbie had my favorite sandal in her mouth. Chewed beyond repair. Okay. They were old sandals, but comfortable, so, so comfortable. And I swear, I believe I've gained weight. I could have sworn I was eating better. I've been eating an apple a day. Colbie's been helping me. I've even been drinking more water. Guess I really need to exercise more. (It doesn't count just being a member of a gym?)

At work every instrument I've been on lately has had major issues after I've been on it. I haven't done anything to them...I promise, but I'm beginning to believe its my karma. Can I do anything about my karma? Does anyone know? Stand on my head. Throw salt over my shoulder. Okay, people, I need some help here!

I did mention while my youngest was gone how much I missed her. I did I missed her. She came back and gave me the sweetest gift. She bought me a Civil War book I can use on my research. She did a great job on knowing what I needed and it was so thoughtful, but...she's going to be the death of me. She truly believes she's twenty-five. Miss Independent for sure (except when it comes to money). Oh, Lord, watch over us both.

Did I mention that the Roses of Prose is revamping the whole blog? It's exciting. Added ten other authors for a total of fourteen. Great group except Laura asked me to moderator our yahoo chat. We have so many decisions to make and so little time... so being the moderator...how hard could that be? Really, sit back, talk, encourage...oh, not so fast. They were firing off emails right and left. Wanting answers for this and that. I have no answers. I'm the moderator for goodness sake with no power at all. Got to the point where I felt like a substitute teacher getting spit wads thrown at her. Like I was standing in the class room yelling, "Stop that. I'm going to tell." And the students running wildly around daring me to, knowing...oh, they know...there's not a darn thing I could do. My emails were going out and being totally ignored. You know it didn't take long to figure out I'm not a good moderator. It's a strength to admit a weakness. Isn't it?... Oh, truthfully they weren't bad. Matter of fact, a great group. Some wonderful ideas. It's going to be a great blog. You would think that roses are soft and delicate. Don't think so, nope, this here is a pretty hearty bunch if you ask me...Looking forward for it to begin.

But with all that, I discovered that's not what's truly bothering me. I'm about to do something taboo. Yes, I'll admit it. I'm frustrated with my writing. Ssh...it will be just between us. No one needs to know that I threw out the ending of Seductive Secrets and am going to rewrite it. Gone are my dreams of revising Whispers of a Southern Heart next week. But my book Dream Walker seems to have sprang to life. Shot up to number #1 for Wild Child on Fictionwise and #19 for mainstream fiction last week. It has since dropped but for that moment in time...Figured I should be rolling in the big bucks by now or at least have my sales number go up. Am I wrong to dream? Honestly, I have to admit it was nice if only for a moment to be high on a list. Could be addicting? So come on readers. Pick up your kindles, nooks, ipads...download my books...please...don't make me beg...but I will if you want. It was fun just to see it high on a list at Fictionwise. I can only imagine how much fun it would be to say be on the New York Times bestseller list. So I just need around 20,000 people to buy it each week...Shouldn't be so hard? Should it? I mean I'm still playing and waiting to hit the Lottery. Its just six numbers for goodness sake. So it's been 27 years. For that matter about my book, does it have to be in print to be a best seller???

Still though I waited til now to disclose my depression. Back in April, I went to a psychic. He told me that I would sell two books this summer, one in June and one in August. Well, people, the only thing I heard back from in June was my date for my release with Whiskey Creek Press. That doesn't count as a sale. I signed the contract back in January!! And August.? I'm not holding my breath...really I'm not...it's too long...or I might try. I sent a couple of manuscripts off back in May. Do you seriously think I'm going to get an offer after that time? No, I don't need a psychic to tell how it goes. If a publisher or agent is going to offer you anything, it comes quick. The others (the rejections) come within the allotted period they give you for consideration. It ranges, six weeks, three months, a year, three years...but if you don't get a quick responce, it's coming. That dreaded rejection letter. Mark my word, its coming. It is sitting there waiting for its allotted time to be sent back to you. Oh, they want to give you the impression they are considering it. But don't be fooled. They have their little piles lined up with the date to send it back. There are piles for POV problems, character development issues, too long, too short, and the terrible taboo- they recieved it on the Sunday after the night of the Blue Moon (bad no-no)...

Oh, but its not the psychic's fault if its found he's been wrong. No, I did my research and discovered my mistake. I should have sent my manuscripts out the night of the new moon while standing on my head and throwing salt over my shoulder...

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