Thursday, March 31, 2011

Subjectivity- My Own

When I was a young girl I loved to watch the Olympics especially ice skating in the Winter and gymnastics in the Summer. At times watching the Olympics would become frustrating. Olympians I thought deserved higher scores would find themselves starting at unexplainable scores. Subjective scores usually laying with the judges' national alliance. I feel like that now, like I'm watching unexplainable scores and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

Why you might ask? I have decided I have the absolutely wrong disposition for being an author. An author is never to show an emotion except to smile and say thank you. Never let anyone know you're unhappy with a situation...and never, never show weakness. To the outside world, you are the epitome of what all are trying to obtain. This world is to be envied. Successful authors seemed to live in a world encased in a facade of their making. Look at J. K. Rowling living in a castle now or Stephen King who gets to go to any Red Sox game he wants. I want that world. I want to be able to go to any Celtics that too much to ask?

If only I could learn their secrets to success. Does it take being ruthless and cunning to succeed like in Survivor? Not me. Never could be ruthless. Maybe brave and courageous like in Amazing Race. Not me, either. Scared to death of heights and the food they have to eat...nah...couldn't do that. Talented! Now that would be considered essential, but we all know it takes more than talent...just look at American Idol. Hard work, toil and sweat, perseverance, luck...bringing me back to subjectivity.

The authors I have interacted with have been the nicest, warmest people I have ever met. I love meeting new authors, talking and I'm so looking forward to the NEC Conference at the end of April. Though at the moment, I have begun to wonder about these people. Are they real? Think about it.

They always have a smile on their face. Okay...okay so they're doing what they love...writing..creating a different escape that others get to enjoy. So they're making money...they seem to be...Why the other day I read where best selling authors are switching over to self publishing. Seems a $500,000 contract wasn't good enough to sign...need creative control or such. These authors have people lining outside the doors of book stores just to get a glimpse of them, their signature, maybe even a photo. Oh, it's not like I don't get asked to sign my John Hancock at book stores...every time I use my credit card to buy those authors books, I assure you I do.

All along Facebook, my page is littered with happy faces and postings of new releases, book covers, book signings, new contracts. Twitter is filled with happy little sayings, funny and I can't stop laughing...obviously rejection doesn't live in their world.

I have decided I want their world. A world where it doesn't snow in April or even forecast Snow in April. A world where I can get a review and have someone actually read my book (ok-it was only one review- the others were great-love 'em, but I can't get over knowing someone called Patriot Secrets a I even have to explain...) A world where the Facebook Fan Page would work the way it used to. A world when I enter an online auction I wouldn't have someone outbid me $150 in the last MINUTE for an item I really...really..really wanted. (Now I ask you is that fair? Really, outbid me $150! Do these people not have children to feed or have to buy gas?)  A world when I send in a manuscript I don't get a DEAR AUTHOR rejection letter! A rejection is bad enough. I can live with that. Oh, but the disgrace of a Dear Author letter! A world where I can just concentrate on my next book, revision, or edits. Why, oh, why do I have to network constantly? Why can't I just write?

Writing is subjective like ice skating scores. Subjective- editors and agents say they are looking for something to jump off the page to them. I'm trying to figure out how the heck to do make my manuscript jump (literally or figuratively). Now I have to accept I have regressed. I have been reduced to dear author again after all my hard work, my books, my social still my heart...ignore the frustration and once more put a smile back on my face.

Face their world with a renewed fortitude, taking heed to their advice so one day I too can live in their world.
So I wait until some publisher or agent somewhere falls head long in love with my work and spirals me into that world. To boldly go...oh, wrong line...excuse me been watching to many Star Trek reruns, back to my writing...Until then I cling to my dream, my hope...until then I have to live with those subjective scores...

Sunday, March 20, 2011


      I have a case of spring fever. The snow is gone! It's been a while since I blogged here! So much going on. First have to a congratulate a couple of people. Ruby Wright is the $25 gift certificate winner of my contest! And congratulations to Joan Bowden and Jeff Fogel my weekly winners of an ebook! I didn't even announce the winner last week! Shame on me!
      Oh, the reasons why! My husband went down to Spring Training to watch the Red Sox's with his father and brothers. Had a great time, but then I was left with everything at home. And I had to plan a 50th birthday party for him. Should have been a surprise. I had this wonderful idea of having everyone shout out "Surprise you're 50!" Like he didn't know it. Wouldn't that be just the best surprise! Walking around happy as can be than walk into a room and be told you're 50! I know...I know I have a strange sense of humor. Can you tell what I think about turning 50?

      The party went awesome. Of course he knew. He always figures things out especially when I had to ask him for numbers of people. Well, I had no choice. I'm not a party person. I'm definitely not a party planner nor do I have the first inclination of how to plan a party. All his friends and coworkers- I didn't have their numbers. My son finally told me to just ask him for the numbers. "Ask. Say don't ask why. I just need some numbers. Or, Mom, we are going to be sitting around looking at each other all night!" Bob loves parties and the more people the better. So he loved it even if he knew about it! Honestly, I can't keep a secret. Bob knows that better than anyone.

       The other reason I'm been busier. I started volunteering. Down at the New England Wildlife Center. My daughter wanted to do it with a friend. Which was great, except one lady told me that I had to volunteer with her until she turned 18. Her friend also volunteered. Went to orientation and discovered that I didnt' have to if Becca was 17 except her friend is 16. So I'm volunteering for her friend to be able to volunteer until next week when she turns 17. Although unless my daughter forbids it, I don't mind. I like it. It's the neatest place. It's the only wildlife hospital in Massachusetts. We don't get to interact with the hospital. The girls might later. Its the reason Becca's volunteering here. They have an internship program that you can apply for after 40 hours of volunteer work. At the moment we are cleaning, washing towels, sweeping, moppings, dusting, etc... Except Becca has been able to take the Llama and goat in at night. Chester and Penelope.

       Then my own doggies! They are getting so big and cute! They're are behaving better with the better weather. They are able to get out more and run around. Did I tell you I found out what was happening to my plants? Colbie was jumping up in my bay window attacking the plants from one end and Dexter from the other! I now have no plants in my house. None! I can't imagine what they are going to do to my flower beds. I have a plan, but Colbie leaps so high and is so agile I can see her jumping over the little flower fence I'm going to put up. It is going to be a challenge!
      I almost forgot to mention at my husband's party we started at 2 in the afternoon having his family down with all the kids. Love those kids! They were out back running around with the dogs when I looked out. We have a little plaque to remember Bailey (who died last summer). They were taking the toys around the yard and placing them around the plaque. It was adorable and touching. How do young children know to honor a love one in that manner?

     Then the reason I'm here. My writing. I'm having the hardest time on my new book I started. It wasn't flowing. I said to myself I can write a simple romance. I can't. Truly, I can't. Things start popping in my head, complications to the story that need to be answered. Have to be answered. So here I go again. It will be another historical romance/suspense, but I do love the name- Seductive Secrets. Sounds great, doesn't it?  Heard back on another one of my submissions. Another Night Falls. They want me to revise and send back. Not bad. I see what they mean. I absolutely love the storyline in this one. It's just at the moment I can't go bad and revise when I'm in the middle of trying to figure out Seductive Secrets.
      Excited about the NEC convention in April. Can't wait. Had such a great time last year. Hope I'm not disappointed. You know how it is. You have a wonderful time one year and the next the newness wears off...oh, I don't think so. I love meeting other authors. They're doing the pitch different this year. We're sending in the first 10 pages of our submission. I had requested the three publishers. I had a book for each. Seductive Secrets was suppose to be one if I got to pitch to Harlequin. I'm not under pressure now to complete it since I didn't get any of them. I kinda got lost. When I registered I was supposed to have gotten my appointment with the agent/publisher at that time. I didn't get anything. Then the other day I was looking over the site and saw where others were talking about their appointments. I emailed and I was supposed to have gotten it over a month ago. But they added another publisher, Crescent Moon Press. As it turns out, I have a book for her too. My fantasy. The first book in a trilogy Whispers of a Legend. This one is Shadows of the Past. Is it a sign? I'll let you know.

      After I get caught up with my historicals (Another Night Falls revisions and perhaps going finishing up the sequel to Patriot Secrets). OMG! I almost forgot my rant on review sites. Get this- I recieved back a review from a book blogger from New Zealand last week on Patriot Secrets. She gave me a 3! A 3!!!! In the snipet of a review she kept calling it a Regency. Every other word was Regency and had nothing to do with Patriot Secrets. Now I ask you how in the world she is calling my book a Regency? A light hearted romance. Patriot Secrets is set during the American Revolution and it is definitely not light hearted. (I think a great stroy, but not light hearted.) One of my friends laughed after reading it. Said either she didn't read the book, knows nothing about history, or she got Patriot Secrets mixed up with another book. I got a better review from the erotical site! On my next book, I have learned my lesson not to send blindly to review sites. Or maybe I should just stick with reader reviews.
      We'll see how things go. So much to do. So little time.